During each stage of pregnancy, there are things you need to know and implement for best results. A lot of energy gets spent on figuring out how to "survive" pregnancy- in fact, as someone who has done it 3 times, I'm pretty sure I still Googled exactly that at some point around week 8. In the first trimester, mamas need to know about how to calculate a due date, how does implantation work, risks of miscarriage, diet and exercise, when they will start to show, and what is safe and what is not. Oh, and how to ease morning sickness!
In the second trimester, moms start wondering about the sex of their baby, how and where they want to give birth, whether or not to return to their job after the baby comes, and what supplies they need. Some wise mamas take this time to hire a labor doula (PS we know a bunch of awesome doulas- if you are expecting and need a good one, we can help you out).
In the third trimester, the weight of the baby starts to creep up on mama and as she becomes more and more ready for the birth, the birth, the birth! OH, and did we mention that much of the time, all she thinks about is the birth? And of course whether or not she has enough baby clothing in each size.
So, what is "The Fourth Trimester" and, if I'm prepared for my baby's arrival why do I need to prepare for it? Isn't that the same thing?
Preparing for the reality of this can make a huge difference in your sanity, happiness, and quality of life. A gentle shift in thinking is a great first step. Getting educated, developing a plan, and implementing a support team is even better.
We have the privilege of working with a lot of mamas, and are mamas ourselves, and we can tell you that our culture is hard on new moms. There is a certain amount of you're-in-the-supermom-club-now praise sprinkled on new moms who "feel great" right after their amazing natural birth, having their lovely little 8 lb 4 oz baby in the water. Or the mom who has a short labor and bore her baby down in two pushes. She naturally feels AMAZING! And all of the natural birth advocates said that this is one of the big benefits of forgoing the drugs- you feel great and get back to normal sooner. And this truth (most women really DO feel great after a natural birth), coupled with the well meaning praise from the fabulous supermom-club that a mom is doing great because she is out and about so early, means that mamas often expect that they will power-birth, nurse the baby, shower, and get on with things.
Those kinds of expectations are what leave a new mom feeling like a big failure because she hasn't gotten dressed, her toddler has missed gymnastics twice in two weeks, and she has no idea where her contact lenses are.
As a natural birth enthusiast myself, I really did feel good after my baby's birth, like I could have jumped up and taken my baby on parade (a slow parade, but still). And I have to say it took conscious effort on my part to get my unapologetic Fourth Trimester experience. It didn't just happen, it was as planned as any other facet of the pregnancy year.
Gladis Rubio and Emily Seelig-Rohrhuber are CLCs and co-founders of The Fourth Trimester, doing home visits for lactation support in the Tampa Bay Area. They can be reached at fourthtri@gmail.com.
