Breast Wishes to You!

Knowledge is Power, What the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative's "10 Steps to Successful Breastfeeding" (Should) Look Like In Action

These 10 Steps to Successful Breastfeeding are the official guidelines for Baby Friendly hospitals to adhere to, put into place by UNICEF to ensure that more mothers and babies are able to breastfeed. They are considered to be "best practices". What we know to be true from our experience in helping new moms is that these guidelines can end up being ignored in the normal hustle & bustle of mainstream maternity care. 

And to the army of postpartum doulas and lactation specialists out there, nodding along with us, carry on! There is a lot of work left to be done.

Forget the gear- Here are the most thoughtful ways to welcome a baby and support breastfeeding!

Let's face it...these days there's a gadget or gizmo to help with every aspect of parenting imaginable. So with the holidays upon us, I felt compelled to write a list of the most thoughtful ways (and best gift ideas) to help welcome a new baby that will support new parents, and encourage breastfeeding!



1) BREASTFEEDING SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT

A breastfeeding care pack is a great gift idea for a new mom!  It's a simple, thoughtful gesture that lets your friend know you are there to support them through their breastfeeding triumphs and challenges. All you need is a basket, perhaps some pretty handmade cloth pads, rice sacks to soothe postpartum aches and pains, and maybe a beautiful nursing necklace.  And don't forget the most cherished of all- a gift certificate for house cleaning and private in-home lactation support.  These are items that help drive the point to Mom that nothing matters more than focusing her time and energy on her new baby- and you want to help her succeed at breastfeeding! I also like the idea of including a book on breastfeeding as well, such as "A Nursing Mother's Companion"  or "Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding".


2) THE GIFT OF NOURISHMENT   

A great idea to help a friend with a new baby is to coordinate a meal train with other mutual friends.  That way the family can have plenty of meals on hand so their main focus can be getting to know their new baby instead of cooking!  Ask people to consider foods like casseroles, pastas, and soups that all freeze well and the family can enjoy at their leisure.  Remember to stay cognitive of any dietary restrictions and consider foods with lots of fresh, wholesome ingredients.  Using an online community meal train organizer such as Take Them A Meal can help coordinate the support.


3) OFFER TO BUY GROCERIES 

Sometimes it's not always easy to get a shower let alone make it out to the grocery store when adjusting to life with a newborn.  The simple act of dropping off some groceries or household items is a huge relief to someone who is trying to get their bearings as a new mom or perhaps recovering from the birth.  On your way over for a visit with the new baby, offer to swing by the store to pick up a few things.  This easy gesture will be very much appreciated!



4) HELP WITH OLDER SIBLINGS AND PETS

If the new mom is recovering from a traumatic birth or otherwise bedding-in with her new baby, she will need a little continued help when her partner must return to back work.  Offer to support the family by helping to arrange play dates, carpools, or activities for older siblings. There are great organizer sites such as Lotsa Helping Hands to set up calenders and schedules and coordinate community care giving.  If there are no older brothers or sisters, and only "fur babies", offer to maybe stop by and take the dog for a walk or clean the litter box.  

5) DON'T FORGET THE OLDER BROTHER/SISTER

It's natural for an older sister or brother to feel a little left out or even somewhat resentful when a new baby is welcomed into the home.  To them, it seems like countless visitors are stopping by to see the baby and to give the baby gifts.  This is also something that weighs heavily in the hearts and minds of second-time around parents- the feeling of being stretched too thin and worrying that older brother or sister is not getting enough attention. So, if you are planning on bringing the new baby a gift, consider bringing a little something for the older siblings so they can feel like part of the joyous occasion too!  It doesn't have to be extravagant.  But something to let them feel that becoming the older brother or sister is a wonderful and important place in their family tree!  If you are close to the family, perhaps take them to the park or out for ice cream!  It will give the kids some one on one time with someone, and the parents some alone time with the new baby.

6) DON'T EXPECT TO HOLD THE BABY

New moms can be a little tense, especially with their firstborns.  And those "Mamma Bear" instincts are starting to emerge and kick into overdrive.  Remember new parents are also getting to know their babies.  So it's not the time to be hogging the baby.  It's time to support the new family and promote precious bonding.  It's okay to ask to hold the baby, but keep your hands-on time limited to a few minutes.  Always show basic manners by washing your hands first, and at any point if the parents seem uncomfortable or uneasy, or the baby becomes fussy or tries to latch on to anything at all, it's time to pass the baby back to mama.  There will be plenty of time for you to hold the baby when things settle down and the parents have established a routine that is comfortable for them.


7) DON'T OFFER UNSOLICITED ADVICE OR TRY TO TELL THE PARENTS WHAT THEY ARE DOING WRONG

I wish someone was around to whisper this one in a few ears when I had my little one!  Often, new parents are stressed out and confused enough as it is.  And they have probably already heard an opinion on every little detail that could possibly pertain to a new baby.  Remember, even if you have several children of your own, every baby is different.  If you happen to notice something that is of major concern, be thoughtful and courteous, not overbearing, in the way you approach the subject.


8) GO VISIT, BUT DO SOMETHING HELPFUL

 It's exciting when a close friend or family member brings home a new baby.  And yes, you want to rush over and see the new bundle of joy.  More than likely, you are welcome to!  But remember the new parents may be feeling overwhelmed as it is.  They may be energy deprived, or the new mom may still be physically recovering from labor and delivery.  It's not the time to comment on the stack of dirty dishes that continues to pile up.  In fact, the courteous thing to do when you visit a family's new addition, is to offer a helping hand with a household chore or two.  Put away the dishes or start a load of laundry.  Perhaps run the vacuum around the house.  This small gesture will be so appreciated, especially when most partners usually have limited time off work to spend with their growing families. 


9) REMEMBER TO CALL AHEAD AND OTHERWISE JUST BE THOUGHTFUL 

Don't drop by unannounced.  It's rude to begin with, and especially so if there is a new baby in the house.  Schedule your visit ahead of time and plan on keeping it short.  Newborn babies are usually nursing around the clock.   Breastfeeding is not a spectator sport.  And often, it's difficult enough to get a new baby to nurse as mama and baby are both navigating the learning curve, especially in the presence of an audience.  So if the baby is getting fussy, or if Mom and Dad just generally seem uneasy, don't get offended.  It may be time to cut your visit short and return at a later date.  If you are close with the family, it's a nice gesture to offer to help watch the baby so Mom can grab a quick shower or a short nap.



A new baby in the home makes for a happy and exciting time, but it should also be a time of vital bonding and attachment for the growing family.  Many times, new parents are made to feel like they must entertain countless visitors while their little one is being paraded around, when the focus of the community should be that of supporting the family bond!  Remember, it's not the time for new parents to be entertaining house guests, but rather be bonding together as a growing family and these are just a few suggestions to help new parents embrace their Fourth Trimester.

 ~

*** Don't forget about the special mama-to-be in your life! We are extending this fabulous offer-  

purchase our prenatal session now through 12/24/2013, and receive a free gift! 

Studies have shown that prenatal education increases maternal breastfeeding self-efficacy, which then results in increased breastfeeding duration. (Noel-Weiss et al 2006)