Dear Mama of a Brand New Baby...

Breastfeeding can still work out for you, even if you are having a hard time feeding your baby today. So much changes from one hour to the next with a newborn baby. And I know this is true, because I am living it right now!

With my prior experience as a nursing mama, with my training and education in the lactation field, and after working with countless mother/baby duos, I never expected (in a million years) that my 3rd child would be born naturally, in a beautiful home birth, and then... refuse to latch on.

I am not going to lie, the moment was a little tense. My brand new baby girl lay on my chest squalling her brand new baby cries, and after a little while, my midwife told me that she really needed the baby to nurse to help contract my uterus a bit more. And my daughter just refused to latch on. The positioning was right, and instead of showing any interest in the breast, she just screamed. Her refusal caught me off guard for a moment. Thankfully, manual nipple stimulation also gives an oxytocin response. I handed our hysterical baby to her dad for some skin to skin time while I worked on that.

With repeated offers and attempts over the next couple of hours, she did finally, reluctantly, take the breast. And when she was 36 hours old, this blog post started forming in my mind and heart. 

There are some maternity care providers or birth locations that have policies stating when newborn babies must eat by and the pressure can be overwhelming when you have just "climbed Kilimanjaro" labored and birthed a whole new person into the world. The pressure to get it all right, right away. To sustain your baby. To bond and have a loving and peaceful experience. To succeed at something you planned on doing. 

Sometimes, what you and your baby need the most is patience and the time and space to keep on practicing! If we had been in a different birth environment, or if I was a brand new mom myself, this initial setback could have easily thrown my plans to breastfeed off course. Babies definitely need to eat, but during that first day, hastily introducing a bottle to my too-angry-to-learn-to-breastfeed-newborn would have been a step in the wrong direction for getting nursing off to the best start possible. It turns out that we just needed to keep at it, learning together. I am so thankful for everything that I know about breasts, nipples, babies, and how they all work, but no amount of previous experience or knowledge could have removed my baby's need to learn how to do it for herself- through trial and error- and when she was ready to.

Gladis Rubio with her partner Robbie Hoskins, and their daughter Penelope

So, Mama of a Brand New Baby who might be struggling to nurse today, if there's one message that you take with you from this I hope it comes across loud and clear: you can still get this on track.
You can still make this work. We know you can. You might have experience from nursing another child, or not. You might have read every book about nursing, or not. You might have other challenges and obstacles to face. You might need to get help with breastfeeding. Just remember to take a few deep breaths, it's not too late to get this on track!

Lots of love,
Gladis

The Fourth Trimester
Lactation Counseling and Breastfeeding Advocacy

 (Originally written July 2013. Penelope is now a happy nursing toddler, and soon-to-be big sister!)

What really worries us about informal milk sharing- and it's not what you'd think!

We have to start off by saying that we unequivocally recommend breast milk. As they say, "human milk for human babies"- it just makes sense. If a mama's own milk isn't available, donor milk from another mama is the very next best thing, and yes it's better than formula. The debate in the lactation consultant world tends to be over "informal" versus "formal" milk sharing. Formal being through an official milk bank (which blends, pasteurizes, and homogenizes... making breast milk prohibitively expensive and turning women's efforts into big business profits).

Informal milk sharing is everything else.

It's manually expressing colostrum for a friend's toddler who keeps getting sick in daycare. It's giving half of your frozen pumped stash to a mom who is going back to work and doesn't have milk saved. It's food for babies who can't tolerate artificial formula but never latched on to their mother's breast. It's cross-nursing and wet-nursing, and yes, both of those things really happen!


Informal milk sharing has some risks, and moms should be and are generally aware of them. An improper donor could pass along a disease, could have incorrectly stored the milk, or could be taking drugs. All of these reasons are why milk sharing communities widely discourage purchasing breast milk. Freely giving milk is a time consuming process, and is a labor of love. The World Health Organization recommends milk from a "healthy donor", yet some lactation consultants will universally discourage milk sharing unless the mothers are participating in the formal milk bank system because of those (admittedly rare) risks.

What really worries us about informal milk sharing is not any of those things. It's what may be happening behind all of that beautiful sharing for both the donor and the recipient. Are they getting the support that they need?

Mamas who have hundreds and thousands of bags of milk frozen may be pumping like crazy because they are suffering with an oversupply problem. They are at risk of mastitis and plugged ducts if they were to suddenly stop pumping, and may not know how to get out of this situation. Or they might not be feeding their milk to their own baby because he or she has symptoms of intestinal distress and their pediatrician or GI specialist has advised them to stop nursing and switch to a specialty formula. These women need support.

Mamas who are supplementing with donor milk may have a baby who never latched. Or they struggled with low milk supply. Or they are returning to work and don't have the appropriate tools and support in place to provide milk for their baby.

All of those things can be compounded by the continuation of the milk sharing cycle, because supplementing with breastmilk is still supplementing and still reduces supply. It can throw the whole system out of balance. The best thing women can do when they are milk sharing is to contact a lactation professional and talk over whatever concerns they might be having. And if the lactation professional gives them a lecture about the dangers of milk sharing instead of lending an ear and offering real support, we hope they have the courage to pick up the phone one more time and call someone else. 

The Fourth Trimester  is honored to be your advocate!

Call us for a free breastfeeding phone consultation-

 Gladis- 727-657-7370     Emily- 727-452-4809

Email- fourthtri@gmail.com

www.TheFourthTrimester.net

Photo courtesy of Aurimas!

How do I know if my pediatrician TRULY supports breastfeeding?

How do I know if my pediatrician TRULY supports breastfeeding?

Interviewing pediatricians? Start the dialogue

by asking what they know and believe about breastfeeding.

Does this pediatrician...

believe that breastfeeding is the biological norm and formula feeding and even pumping are lifestyle choices?

A doctor that truly supports breastfeeding will never minimize your feelings in an effort to help you feel "better". Saying that "it's not that bad" doesn't help to solve the actual problem. Your pediatrician should always listen and empathize if you share that breastfeeding is not going well.

support the World Health Organization's position on breastfeeding? Or does he/she promote early weaning?

"WHO recommends that infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development, and health. Thereafter, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods, while continuing to breastfeed for up two years or more."

understand the WHO's definition of exclusive breastfeeding?

"Exclusive breastfeeding means that the infant receives only breast milk -not even water- with the exception of oral re-hydration solution, or drops/syrups of vitamins, minerals, or medicines."

only use the most current published WHO Infant Growth Charts for exclusively breastfed infants?

If the chart is based on breastfed babies and the baby's growth percentile has dropped, this is a red flag to take a closer look and see if breastfeeding can be improved.

understand what is normal for breastfeeding moms and babies?

This includes how much and how frequently breastfed babies typically eat (guess what- it's different from formula feeding babies!), what pumping is generally like, and what some signs of trouble are. For example, if a mom is struggling to pump enough, or if she is experiencing any breast pain or sore nipples.

seem willing to have a discussion about the importance of oral anatomy for pain-free, effective breastfeeding?

We frequently hear of pediatricians suggesting that lip tied or tongue tied babies are "fine" or that feeding "should be okay", yet mama and baby are struggling. Minimizing these issues as a medical fad is not productive or evidence-based.

consider feeding difficulties when making a diagnosis? And make referrals for lactation support?

Working with a lactation professional to rule out common breastfeeding issues that can sometimes masquerade as other problems (such as reflux, colic, constipation, or allergies) is an excellent first step before supplementing or beginning a medical treatment.

 Newborn babies nurse very often and follow instinctual feeding cues which are vital to getting breastfeeding off to the best possible start. Unnecessary disruptions to breastfeeding can have unintended consequences to the nursing relationship. Take care before starting your breastfed baby on supplements by first ruling out breastfeeding problems, but be especially wary of any health professional that suggests stopping breastfeeding without a discussion of the risks and benefits. 

When to Call For Help:

• It is sometimes difficult to latch your baby on or position feels awkward
• You are experiencing nipple, breast, or shoulder pain
• You aren't sure if you have enough milk
• Baby is fussy, gassy, spits up frequently, or you are considering an elimination diet
• Baby loses weight during the first few weeks, or isn't having yellow stools by day 4 of life. 

The Fourth Trimester  is honored to be your advocate!  Call us for a free breastfeeding phone consultation.

 Gladis- 727-657-7370     Emily- 727-452-4809

Email- fourthtri@gmail.com

www.TheFourthTrimester.net

 

 

  

Oxytocin Love